A Chicken Story.

Please ignore the color of this chicken. I couldn't find a picture of a black chicken on the fly!

Years ago(17 years ago to be more precise), I was a young man living with my parents in Mcgaheysville, Va.

It was very strange time in my life, no girl friend, no friends around to speak of, and I spent a lot of time hiding away.

Aside from work, I played video games, and watched television, and yes of course I played the drums.

Though, most every night, I would take a drive. I was a secret smoker (Don't tell my parents. Oh, and I mean cigarettes~ Not Anything else~ Don't be funny!).

Anyway, I would drive to Neighbors(now known as Valleys), a local shop at the base of Massanutten mountain, grab a few beers, a pack of smokes, and head off into the wild to be by myself.

I drove towards Elkton on route 33 until I deviated onto a side road and found a pull off. It was a nasty spot where people throw deer carcauses. I can still smell the stench of decomposing animals, when I think on it.

I sat there for awhile to mill through the days events. I got out of my car, I layed on the trunk of my old Volkswagen Jetta, and stared off at the stars.

It was toward the end of summer, the weather was pleasant, the sky was clear, and I cleared my mind underneath the stars.

Awhile later, I decided it was time to go home, I got back in my car and started driving up this old dirt road. As I drove along something caught my attention as I was passing. "What was that?" I thought to myself.

I stopped the car, backed up slowly, and then it came into view. Yeah, I know you want to know what it was, but I thought just for dramatic effect it would be fun to keep you in suspense for a little longer. HAha, I am a funny boy..!

As I was saying, I was backing up, and then it came into view... This beautiful Black Hen! It was probably midnight, there was no moon, so it was really dark.

I got out of my car, picked up the chicken, talked to it. You know, I asked it what it was doing all alone on the back streets, who it belong to, and a long list of other concerns that cropped into my mind. Yes! I know it seems odd that I talk to animals(Don't pick on me!), I asked the chicken if it needed help.

Anyway, we got into the car, I held the chicken on my lap, and then thought "What Am I going to do with this chicken?".

It occurred to me that I could take it home. But, then came all these problems like, Where would I put a chicken? What would I feed it? After a few minutes of contemplation, I decided I would try to find it's home.

Bare in mind that it was late and most "Normal" people would have the good sense to be in bed by this hour. But, I was neither of those things(Sensical or Normal) and so, I just went on down the road until I found a farm. I drove up the driveway only to be met by a man standing on his porch with what looked like a 12 gauge shotgun.

I have to admit, I Was Scared! I put the car in park, opened the door, stood up slowly, and said and I quote "I Have a Chicken!". The man looked surprised, brought his gun down, and said "Whaaatt?".

"Do you have chickens?" I asked. Again, the man said "WHaaTt?". "I found a black chicken on the side of the road, I saw that this was a farm,

and I thought the chicken might be yours.". "No, we ain't got no black chickens here." he said in an aggravated tone.

At this point, I was getting a little desperate. "Would you please take this chicken?" I said. "No, don't want that chicken.". "Please, I don't have anywhere to keep her, I'd take her home, she's a nice looking chicken, but I just can't. Won't you just take her? You have chickens, right? Please?". "Look, it's not that I don't want the chicken, it's just the other chickens will hen peck it.". "Hen peck?", I gave him a funny look. "The other chickens will peck the feathers out, they don't like strange chickens.".

Don't Ruffle my feathers!

So, I finally convinced the man to take the "Black Chicken". I said thank you, and was on my way.

I was on my way home to my parents house, and for some odd reason I had the urge to call my Dad. Keep in mind that this was the time before cell phones, I actually had to find a pay phone, and call him from a "land line".

After I finished telling him, he said "Are you on drugs Jeff?". I said "No sir.". He hung up, and that was that. Well, not exactly.

My Mom thought it was funny, and she must've had the chicken story rolling through her mind for quite awhile. She would bring me presents from time to time, and for a long time, the majority were chicken related.

Here's the last of them. He's been around for 15 years, and survived two small children. Really, who am I kidding? He's missing both of his legs, both of his eyes, his comb is falling off, but this old boy has had a good life.

Thanks for the chicken mom, he's been a real trooper.

Oh by the way, don't get hung up on why the chicken crossed the road, but be a chum and help him across if he looks lost or lonely.

Thanks for reading! See you next time~